


Time is an illusion, but one that means a lot

by Thorpe



Series: Words found at 4 a.m. [3]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Other, SO MUCH FLUFF, and a few vague mentions of smutty stuff, extensive metaphor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:49:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25111177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thorpe/pseuds/Thorpe
Summary: They learn that between 2 and 3 a.m. Jackie is kind and patient, but above all - he’s steady on his legs when Gigi’s own get wobbly. “Careful, baby Geeg,” he says, alongside a playful jab about needing to go to the gym more if Gigi insists on being the lightweight between the two of them. Half-past Jackie is always more than o’clock Jackie, so in the early morning hours racing with dawn he’s caring and doting and adorably standing in the doorway, trying to gauge if there are more pillows needed or less pillows needed. In Gigi’s opinion, the only thing needed is him by their side, but that gets fixed pretty fast usually.Or: Gigi coudn't care less about the passage of time, but Jackie cares a lot, and they're in love, so Gigi is trying.
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Jackie Cox
Series: Words found at 4 a.m. [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1816981
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	Time is an illusion, but one that means a lot

**Author's Note:**

> I started it at 4 a.m. one day (you can see where the inspiration came from) and it took me two weeks to write, but I finished it at 5 a.m., so it counts as words found at 4 a.m.  
> Thank you to my lovely beta, Freyjaa, who had the patience to deal with me and my meltdowns over the English language. Still, it's 9.30 and not 9:30, because my dad always told me you gotta set some ground rules in life.
> 
> As usual, I don't own anything besides my imagination. Enjoy! xx

Gigi barely has any concept of time. If it wasn’t for Jackie, they’d be running late on every other occasion, and that would probably be the only consistency the world could count on when it came to them. Thankfully, there’s Jackie, and it’s the consistency they’re very pleased to lean on. There’s Jackie, with his primness and properness and professionalism, and enough patience to share all of that. He’s making Gigi more mindful of the passage of time - well, he’s trying to. And Gigi knows that actions are more efficient than words when they want to make sure Jackie feels appreciated, so they’re trying, too.

They learn that between 2 and 3 a.m. Jackie is kind and patient, but above all - he’s steady on his legs when Gigi’s own get wobbly. “ _Careful, baby Geeg_ ,” he says, alongside a playful jab about needing to go to the gym more if Gigi insists on being the lightweight between the two of them. Half-past Jackie is always more than o’clock Jackie, so in the early morning hours racing with dawn he’s caring and doting and adorably standing in the doorway, trying to gauge if there are more pillows needed or less pillows needed. In Gigi’s opinion, the only thing needed is him by their side, but that gets fixed pretty fast usually. 

If a 4 a.m. Jackie is missing, that’s okay. His side of bed is still warm, the coaster on his bedside table is empty, and the duvet is crumpled in an inviting way that speaks of temporarity. Not even a deviation from the norm - just a lapse that neither of them will remember in the morning. Sometimes they put an effort into staying awake until Jackie is back, a glass half filled with water in hand and lips still slightly wet when he finds his favourite place on Gigi’s head. Most of the time Gigi fails, but they still wake up in each other’s arms, so no one’s complaining, really. But if a 5 a.m. Jackie is missing, that means trouble. It makes Gigi jerk awake and fumble with the covers. There’s cold air against their shins, which makes them grimace, and smell of smoke, which makes them frown, and there’s a single source of light coming from the tip of Jackie’s cigarette, which makes them sigh and go to embrace Jackie from behind, and stay like that until he’s ready to talk. But they still prefer that to the nights when there’s no cold air and no smoke, and what they follow are the faint sounds of crying coming from the couch.

Neither of them is a morning bird. Well, that’s a stretch, and the price of trading “I” for “we” - Jackie _used_ to be a morning bird, but he’s been enjoying it vastly less since he started associating sleeping in with waking up to Gigi’s lazy smiles. (Gigi has never been a morning bird, never aspired to be one, even, so they’re yet to find out what a 6 a.m. Jackie is like.) A 7 a.m. version of Jackie gets shushed and coaxed into laying back down with clumsy kisses and caresses. To be honest, Gigi isn’t that sure of what the most effective strategy is, because who can be sure of anything at 7 a.m., but they’re clearly doing something right, because it works. 

An 8 a.m. Jackie is a bit more assertive. He gets too hot under the sheets and another body, and he’s already checked his calendar, which serves as a good motivation. Gigi tries to draw it out. After all, a half-past Jackie is more than an o’clock Jackie, and his favourite tactics usually contain Gigi’s blood rushing south, Jackie’s lips following with just a kiss and a half of a delay. On a good day, 9 a.m. Jackie will be communicating in moans and _“yes, right the- ah, oh my god, so fucking good, Gig”._ And don’t get them started on a 9.30 Jackie in the shower - on the good days, of course. The best of them. 

10 a.m. Jackie seems a few hours ahead of Gigi. Or weeks. He gets pragmatic - he has his mailbox checked and his phone in hand, on a call with his agent. He’s also left Gigi their coffee on the table, and they’re slowly sipping it, following the Canadian with their eyes, wondering when did he manage to make it and whether it was before or after he got dressed. Again, no concept of time, but they’re trying. They get breakfast ready, because Jackie may be teaching them to put on a handwatch like perfumes and Instagram filters, but they’re the one teaching him to let seconds pass under the radar and find the time for himself between the minutes passing in quiet, little steps. Make it instead of minding it. Still, those are the good days.

Usually, good days are exactly the ones they’re having, but building a life together is more complicated than maths prepares you for, and one plus one equals something weirdly shaped when it’s four arms and four legs and two hearts and an unspecified integer number of quirks and habits, and it’s never odd, but making it even is not always the easiest task. So sometimes those other days happen as well. Perhaps they would happen less if Gigi could say how much the good ones mean, but there are only so many things they can be doing simultaneously, so they pick up on the restlessness that comes with quarters to, and balancing on that delicate perimeter takes up enough attention to push holding an actual conversation out of the focus. 

The restlessness is always there, buzzing under his skin, making Jackie almost vibrate as he’s responding in hums while checking if he took everything he’s going to need before leaving. It’s quieter in the mornings, unless it’s almost 11 and Jan is late to their brunch. But mostly it’s quieter, and Gigi knows that it’ll come out as purring when they make Jackie’s tea just like he likes it quarter to breakfast, and also that a seismograph would go crazy if it was next to Jackie when his call time is in fifteen, and the staff of the venue still don’t know how to play his music. They’re figuring out how to push the right buttons, taking notice of the way Jackie’s fingers start tapping to the rhythm of the song he’s performing that night and handing him the razor, because, apparently, it’s time to shave, feeling all smug at the surprised, but impressed look they get. But it comes with time, like everything else, and that is the tricky part, obviously. 

A 12 o’clock Jackie is a delight. Corny and witty, making smart word plays and stupid puns, and always winning their playful arguments. Gigi adores him for that, even when they pretend they don’t. He’s charming and gleeful on Cameo, and it’s clear as day why everyone loves him, even though he himself has no idea. Gigi tells him sometimes, tries to explain, and he gets flustered. It’s adorable. They’re absolutely gone for Jackie, and at 12 it feels like too much, but in a good way. If they could, they would hold him tight in their arms and cover his face in kisses and play with his hair and just keep him close and never let go. They can’t, clearly, but Jackie is usually in a good mood at noon, and so they get away with a lot. 

Afternoon Jackie is still a blur. Gigi does their best at dissecting that, but it’s a work in progress. They entertain the idea that they could take a year, two, five, or ten from now, and they’d still have plenty of time to put the pieces in order. Gigi may not have much of a concept of time, but they’ve always had a clear idea when it came to what they wanted, and it’s that they get it. There are no serious promises yet and betting on stars offers only so much certainly, but they know they want Jackie, and that’s something he is very willing to give. So they take it slow, unraveling Jackie. So far they’ve discovered that when they get jealous of Jackie’s attention at 4 p.m., he’s merciless. He teases Gigi and makes them worked up, only to leave them flushed and with lips bitten, because it would kill Jackie to be late, even though it kills Gigi in the process. But then again, they guess it’s less 4 p.m., and more Jackie in general, in his devastatingly hot ways. Alright, maybe Gigi being inhumanly gone for Jackie is less of an hour thing as well. 

But their favourite Jackie is an evening Jackie. It’s 6 p.m. or 7 p.m. or 8 p.m. and he’s on the stage, loving every second of it. The crowd eats it up - it always does - and throws banknotes at him almost as effectively as Gigi. Sometimes he’s with Chelsea, sometimes with Brita, sometimes by himself, but he’s always beaming, and it makes Gigi’s heart soar. They love performing, they do, but the more time they spend with Jackie, the more they realise nothing can match the way their head spins when Jackie gets off the stage and kisses them, hard and fast, like adrenaline and sweat. They know they’re being petty, but on the nights their gigs overlap they always pout and groan that the tips better make it up to them. Gigi makes good money in clubs, but they’re yet to find out what amount of tips makes missing out on Jackie’s show worth it. They are being petty, but Jackie laughs and understands, and sometimes he can’t make it at 9 p.m., but he gets there at half past, so he’s even more encouraging, and his eyes don’t ever leave Gigi’s body for a second. A 10 p.m. Jackie is fun, chatting with his friends, his arm firmly planted around Gigi’s waist, and if it disappears, it’s never for long. An 11 p.m. Jackie starts making aunt jokes, but he really would prefer to be on his way to their bed by now. Gigi squeezes his hand and goes around saying their goodbyes, even though Jackie assures them they don’t have to. Gigi just nods and kisses him sweetly - mind already made up - sometimes adding an exaggerated, breathy plea for Jackie to take them home. And a wink, just for a good measure. 

They get home at midnight, and a 12 a.m. Jackie is as much of a cuddlebug as Gigi is in the mornings. They love it. They rush through their skincare routine, maybe skipping a step on their way, but it’s easy to excuse when as soon as they get into the bed, they’re pulled into Jackie’s arms, their legs tangling together and goodnight kisses tasting of toothpaste. Then he’s out like a light, leaving Gigi to drift away to the sound of his deep breathing. They drag the tips of their nails over Jackie’s skin, thinking of the nights Jackie doesn’t come to see them, but insist to wait for them either way, and Gigi stumbles home at 1 in the morning to find him snoring on the couch. They chuckle and make sure to take their heels off before attempting to carry Jackie to bed, because if anything - they learn from their mistakes. They’re getting better at that, but Jackie's never woken up either way. He’s dead to the world, so he doesn’t know that after he’s snuggled up under their duvet, Gigi lays next to him and waits until their eyes get used to the darkness, so that they can trace the strands of his hair falling onto his forehead, the delicate movements of his eyelids, his cheekbones, nose, and strong jaw. His slightly opened lips. Adorable.

A 1 a.m. Gigi is in love, but that’s definitely not an hour thing.

**Author's Note:**

> Opinions, thoughts, and advice on sleeplessness are welcomed on tumblr (@freykitten) and in the comments below xx


End file.
